Now is the time for Advent.  The expectation is that God will come to us in His second coming.  Moreover, today is the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception.  What are these jargons?  Advent? Second Coming?  Solemnity?  Immaculate Conception?

To me, it is all about believing in God . . . despite my brokenness, at this time.  I am fed the LIE that prayer doesn’t help.  I am fed the LIE that He will not come.  I am fed the LIE that I am being laughed at that I believe in God.  I am fed the LIES that pull me away from God.  And yet, I pray. . .I believe. . . I yearn. . .  I thirst for God’s omnipresence.

God in His omnipresence puts people in my surroundings to encourage me to persevere.

I was hyperventilating on and off from 12:15 p.m. to 7:30 p.m.  He put my mom in my room to encourage me to pray for others who are suffering my same illness at that very moment.  She spends time with me without a word. . .feeding me soup and chicken and ginger. . . watching me . . . understanding me . . . giving me bibles to read . . . then she spoke . . .  She spoke of old stories that would enliven my thoughts and she played meditative music.  God put my mother before me to encourage me.

Then, he put my husband and daughter before me to encourage me.  We prayed for an hour.  My daughter was sore from the way we were sitting . . . yet we prayed and I comforted her in her soreness . . . then, we continued to pray and I know in my heart that my husband and daughter understood that prayer always calms me. . . that it would calm me from my hyperventilation.

As my breathing returned to normal, I was as resolved as ever to pray for others with mental illness, depression, and anxiety.  I prayed for over 5 hours in 3 days, for others like me.  Perhaps this may seem excessive but when the LIES were surfacing, I was discouraged from praying for anyone at all because I was told it would not help.  In my brokenness, there was hope.  The TRUTH is that God loves and He gives His love to those suffering, mercifully and abundantly.  The TRUTH is He loves those suffering in their brokenness because, in their brokenness, they rise through hope that they did not quit.

I believe in God.  I choose not to quit in believing God’s promises.  I did not quit in prayer.  I choose not to quit in prayer.  (The LIES subside.)  I pray that this Advent continues every day from this day forward.  If there is no one in your life that encourages you to persevere, choose. . .choose to yourself to be in someone else’s life, to be the person that encourages others to persevere.

[random thought]  I heard that if He heals me and I believe He will heal me, I will be healed.

[random thought]  This is all I can do today, BUT it is enough.