We all want to be happy but for a mentally disabled person, he or she can often have misguided and unpleasant perceptions about many parts in life. These perceptions can have a profound effect of depression every day. Medication offers some relief, but (my) mental illness is not curable.
Since 1992, I have been in and out of hospitals and schools because of mental illness. I came to the conclusion that I must find a way of coping in order that I have some sort of a normal and happy life. Writing became my coping technique. This resulted in my first book Random Thoughts where I share and create my story/path of forthcoming happier days. In this book, I chose writing to be my medicine; focused on what kept me happy; realigned my thoughts to feel blessed every day; chose to be in a state of thankfulness for my family and few friends; and, remembered to thank God for each beautiful day, daily.
Random Thoughts is a book of thoughts that show my coping technique, implicitly and explicitly, as a person suffering from an incurable mental illness – specifically schizoaffective disorder. I hope this book will offer some similar realities in life and instill hope in and encourage people to create an avenue for them who suffer
or know of others who suffer from depression.
My second book, Gratefulness in Random Thoughts, continues specific days of my story/path to forthcoming happier days.
This second book begins with a darker side of my days. Through those days, I chose to begin a practice in daily spiritual meditation and prayer. I experienced periods of desolation; extreme loneliness; extreme pressure to be productive; extreme depression and sadness; a lack of confidence in life; and, loss of a close friend. I was having a drab life, but I continued to pursue writing and creating my story.
It is like a love story with Christ that I would never take my ears off of listening to His whisper that He would give me comfort, courage, strength and peace in times of depression. Every time I wandered into the abyss, I would cry on His shoulder and it felt like He would fill my heart and soul with grace.
I do not like to remember the beginning much for obvious reasons, but the book had to be written to show the reader the similarities of realities in life and that he or she was not alone. Gratefulness in Random Thoughts requites to instill hope and that there is a higher power, that there is an avenue for the reader, who suffers or knows of others who suffer from depression
St. Augustine’s Prayer to the Holy Spirit
Breathe in me, O Holy Spirit, that my thoughts may all be holy. Act in me, O Holy Spirit, that my work, too, may be holy. Draw my heart, O Holy Spirit, that I love but what is holy. Strengthen me, O Holy Spirit, to defend all that is holy. Guard me, then, O Holy Spirit, that I always may be holy.
I am Catholic. My father goes to church on Sundays because my mom wants to go. My mother left my church because of the arrogant pastor. My brother is doing what makes him happy – sometimes Catholic, sometimes Lucifer. My other brother believes. My sister has come out of the closet for many years. My other sister believes in herself. My nieces and nephews are in this world of non-believers but respectful. I am Catholic.
So, do you want to begin here? Random Thoughts on Love. A break from life’s stresses is good sometimes. It is Tuesday, October 5, 2021. It is 1:28 a.m.