On the surface, I pray frequently; I search for God; and, I read books about Catholicism. That is what the priests tell us in Church. Moreover, we are told that 70 percent of Catholics do not believe in the presence of the Lord in the Eucharist. So, when my mental illness exacerbated, I had trouble praying, searching for God, and reading books about the Faith. Our priests’ words have seeped into my mind and created doubt in me. With resistance, I would try to pray the deliverance prayer my priest had written in my journal.
Lord Jesus, Son of the Living God,
Have mercy on me a sinner.
In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Lord God, we give you all Glory, Honor,
Praise and Thanksgiving.
In your mercy, drive away all darkness that surrounds me.
Lord Jesus Christ, in Your Most Holy Name and
Authority, cast away all and every evil spirit that is
Tormenting me. Drive them away forever.
May they come before you to be banished and
Nevermore return to harm me or anyone.
By the True God, God Most High, God most merciful.
Lord, Holy Spirit, cover me in Your Love and Healing.
Cover me with Peace, Consolation, and Protection.
Heavenly Father, I make these prayers by the
Guidance of Your Most Holy Spirit and
In the Name of Our Lord Jesus Christ.
Immaculate Heart of Mary,
Pray for me and
In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
I praise You, Lord, and give You thanks.
Were the priests warning us in Mass not to be Catholic or were they scolding us for being Catholic? – it certainly seemed so. There I was, trying to be true to my faith and I was being told how hopeless I was.
I had trouble, but I would still pray as everyone around noticed how at peace I was when I prayed. The most effective prayers were the Rosary and those of my husband praying over me. As my husband prayed, I would follow along and say his prayer. They would calm and relax my anxiety (about the following days).
After 1 ½ hours, I was well. I remember Saint Mother Teresa said something in the lines of, even if you feel you need to do something and others oppose, do it anyway – as I was trying to be a good Catholic and others are in disbelief and say that I am not a Catholic or a good Catholic. . .as much opposition as there was, I was to remain and believe fervently that I am a good Catholic and pray; search for God; and, read books about Catholicism!
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