Last night, after watching a movie about autism.  The topic came up about death, I think.

About the movie, what struck me was that the lady who had autism as a young child because of the lack of attention from the mother, when the child was developing the need for intimacy with hugs from the mother, was new to me.  Maybe that is what happened to my niece.

So, I now blame the mom for this.

I thought and thought about this.  Was the mom ill with depression during the time the child was developing?  Why is the child admitted institutionalized? Questions spun in my head.  Thoughts went around in a vicious circle of poverty. Why?

I have experienced before – this circle of poverty and questions spinning around in my head.  Because of this, I couldn’t sleep.  I went to the healing ministry based at our church that time.

[pause]

I explained to the prayer team that my ailment and I wanted to be healed.  She asked me for the details.  I reluctantly answered some of her questions because they were irrelevant.  But, I spoke of truth, that I thought I correct him; correct his ways.  The thoughts, I explained, consumed me and manifested in pain in my right elbow.  Then, she said, “Perhaps, you need to forgive him. . .”

This struck me unexpectedly.  Then the grace God and the Holy Spirit, confirmed.  Instantly, I forgave.  Then, I felt a tingling sensation in my elbow – a warm feeling, too.  Then, the pain left but I knew it would come back if I did not truly TRUST IN THE LORD & FORGIVE.

The pain left.

————————————-

This is beginning of many times my thoughts stopped through forgiving.  I let go.

I forgave the mom.

1 Comment

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