It’s 12:46 a.m.  I cannot sleep.

One priest had told me to be careful of what I say when I talk to other churchgoers in the group.  It is a matter of confidentiality, which is often exclaimed.  However, I feel that it would be helpful if I give concrete examples to readers so they can feel the dimension of what I sometimes go through.  This story is about what was troubling me last week.

During Spring Break, a child visitor to my home tested positive for the covid virus.  Her mother called and was obviously very angry.  In her anger, she accused my family that the child always seems to be sick after visiting my home.  Immediately after getting off the phone with her, my family tested for the covid virus and all the results came out negative.  However, the damage was done.

My husband’s response to the incident was that our family is not to have the child come over or catch a ride in our car anymore.  He said that when the child is with us, the child becomes our responsibility, and judging by the accusation of the mother, it is likely that she will sue my family if anything happened to her child in our care.  This decision troubled me because of the negative impact on the friendship between the child and my daughter.  My concern was my daughter’s emotional health.  So, I went to my spiritual director for advice.  Among some things, my spiritual adviser advised that he cannot disagree with my husband because it was a practical decision.  But, he told me to talk to my daughter, too.  Also, he said that it would be okay to let my daughter visit with this child and, if needed, get a ride from her mother.  After all, he added, he knows that I will not sue this person if anything happened to my daughter in her care.

I went home satisfied and obedient until the next day this child was refused a ride from my husband to an athletic meet.  The mother called me and asked if the child was taking a ride in our car.  I felt very uncomfortable but responded to her that my husband did not give her child a ride.

In my mental illness, I dwelled on the incident for long periods of time.  I questioned if this was the Catholic way.  Am I not supposed to forgive the mother for accusing my family and trust that with the grace of God, the course will unfold?  What would God have me do?

Troubled, I asked for the intercession of Saint Joseph to give me a dream and answer, then the little voice said inside of me, “Be at peace. . .while your husband stands on his decision firmly. . .you have already forgiven her.”  As I grasped what was being shown to me, I sighed a relief – I had already forgiven her for the accusation despite my husband’s decision.

So, my point is, (and I have tried several times) when I ask guidance from the Lord sincerely, he answers me.  Perhaps, reader, you have a thought you cannot resolve, try to pray or converse with God sincerely, to ask for an answer.  He can always answer your question.  I also noticed that He answers according to His time and not mine.



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