This is unusual writing for me but I feel the need to reach out to you, reader. From what I heard about your life, it reminds me of a new word I learnt – tatterdemalion. Perhaps this is a new word for you too. It is an adjective that defines,
1 : ragged or disreputable in appearance. 2 : being in a decayed state or condition
For a long time, perhaps you feel your life is ragged and in a decayed state. I know you have been through a lot lately – meaning surgery, being angry, diabetes, loneliness, mental illness, lack of support from the people closest to you, and not knowing whom to turn to. I am sorry. These are trying times. Hence, I am here to say a few words.
Here is the light in the darkness. I have been helping people with mental illness because I myself have been suffering for years. I heard you have a rosary that you were considering using. I think that that is not such a bad idea. The rosary has kept me alive. I was in bad shape once and I turned to our Blessed Mother. She intercedes to her Son, Jesus, for those suffering to sweeten our suffering. No, there is no cure, but when I trust in the Lord, who suffered and died on the cross for our salvation, I suffer knowing it is part of life. I am truly sorry that this is hard to understand. But, you must try to have a relatively happy life. In your suffering, you must choose.
Choose peace over anger. Choose forgiveness of family members over long-time grudges. Choose love over hatred. Choose blessings. Choose family. Choose healthiness. Choose gratitude. I believe in going through a lot lately, you are tired and giving up. However, there are those of us that care for you and want to see you well. Truly. I wish I can come to your home and take you out for a walk in your wheelchair and admire the beauty of your surroundings – the fresh air, the warmth of the sun, the birds singing, etc. But, I cannot. Don’t take this as discouragement like as you haven’t heard this before. But take this as a chance to be with the Lord because He is the one that is always with you.
So, pick up your rosary and begin to pray. If you do not know how to pray, meditate on this link https://youtu.be/p_shhU_H5Z0. Do not be afraid. You have friends who are praying for you. You are not alone.
He will lead you from tatterdemalion to a new and undamaged life. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
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