Reconciliation within mental illness

by | Feb 12, 2021 | (Helpful) Stories | 10 comments

As I finished the first Glorious Mystery of the Holy Rosary, I thought of my niece and nephew. I sent a text with good intention.  However, there was kind of a spat yesterday where they protected each other from my words.  Their understanding of the text was adverse.  The boy uttered retaliation.  It was very easy for me to invite emotional hurt into my mind, and I did not stop it.  I began getting confused with thinking of what I can do to uninvite these thoughts.  I began questioning my good intention for raising the communication.

Very often I do things out of good intention but it is perceived by others as ill intentioned.  Does this happen to you?

Why is this happening?  This is the only answer I could come up with.  Some people have different opinions/perceptions and they feel the need to express and believe in their own opinion/perception.  Some people feel the need to be right.  These people are sometimes driven by pride.  Then the good intention manifests into satisfying their pride.  But what if they believe so much that they are right?  Then, many feuds will brawl.

Actually, I handle these types of situations with a time of reflection and it helps sometimes.  When the spat arose, I got angry and spoke out.  Very often the words that come out are hasty and angry, to protect myself.  The time for reflection comes after.  I would write.  Then, reread what I wrote.  Often, I would encounter a different and often better perspective (from the grace of God) of what happened, in a calmer tone.  Then, I would thank God for this perspective of good intentions.  If the perception of intentions were bad, then I would ask for forgiveness through the sacrament of reconciliation.

The sacrament of reconciliation is embedded in the Catholic rites.  It is practiced, I believe at least once a year, to get back into the good graces of God.  And, there is nothing like the feeling of being absolved from venial sin or doing something wrong.  There is a big sigh of relief, immense joy and peace, for me, in my soul.  It’s similar to taking a deep breath and exhaling all the negative energy out.  A little like the yoga deep breathing technique.  For me, it is more.  I gain exhilaration to be present in my day.  The air becomes fresh and crisp.  My smile appears and my love for my neighbor, whomever was the victim in my sin, grows.  Most of all, I gain confidence in who I am and I choose not to be depressed.

My mental illness is very ugly.  Yet, through the grace of sacrament of reconciliation, I can choose not to dwell in my fears and confusion and stay amused and happy with what I face in life.  Thank you, Lord, for the grace and beauty you have shown me.


  1. erotik

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  3. Irene

    Agree this is a great reflection, even for those of us who don’t suffer chronic depression. It happens in cross-communications, where intentions may get misconstrued, esp over text where sometimes the meaning or emotions don’t get across accurately. I’ve come to learn that while I may have all the best intentions, if the other person is in a bad place (spiritually or emotionally), then their negative perception of my action / words is their problem and their responsibility. I used to feel guilty for having caused ill feeling but came to realise that the other party has a choice how to receive my messages – if they “put words in my mouth” or take my intentions the wrong way, I can seek to clarify but I don’t feel so bad about it anymore. And yes it’s always comforting to remember that God forgives all our sins – that means He sees us as if we’ve done nothing wrong! His perfect love drives out all fear and condemnation!

  4. Unknown
    • Veronica Kung

      I forgive you. He forgives you.

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  6. Apptelziz

    Одновременно с этим существует и другая сторона формирования и организации высказывания.

    • Veronica Kung

      Translation: At the same time, there is another side of the formation and organization of the utterance.

  7. Apptelziz

    Одновременно с этим существует и другая сторона формирования и организации высказывания.

    • Veronica Kung

      Translation: At the same time, there is another side of the formation and organization of the utterance.

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