I looked to my left. There was the bible. Psalm 42. I read it. How did He know? I am waiting for You Lord.
This week started off with a call from my husband’s son. His brother is in critical condition after he got his covid vaccine shot. He was transported to the nearest hospital and admitted. The physicians diagnosed an unusual reaction as a side effect. His brother was also a dialysis patient for many years. He needed a rare and special medicine. My husband started calling his friends for help. Some offered help and prayers, and others ignored because they were at a party. My husband slept little.
The week led to tragic news of my ex sister-in-law passing away. She was suffering from cancer and suffered two heart attacks while in the hospital. She never recovered. She leaves three children behind.
The next day was a funeral of a dear old friend. He had been in the hospital for a month and a half after testing positive for covid. He passed away alone in the hospital. He leaves his wife behind.
Lord, I am exhausted mentally. I am losing friends and family. In the midst of this week this is my fight song, “Wait for God, for I shall again praise him, my savior and my God.” (Psalm 42:6)
I see the light. My husband’s son is still able to ask for his favorite snacks and drinks, from his hospital bed. The tragic news of my ex sister-in-law has brought my unknown compassion out of my brother who knows little of her family. My dear old friend’s wife sent me a text that in her mourning, she wants to pray for my husband’s son. These are light in the darkness.
There are moments in mental illness that life happens despite the anxiety and depression. Many Christians have said, despite times of darkness and feelings of being downcast, do not take your eyes off the Lord. And trust and say, “The Lord has a plan for me.”
Just to name a few steps in His plan.
- There is compassion for yourself and others.
- Moreover, love exists (love your neighbor as you love yourself).
- Grow in prayer (the ability to pray for others is a reward in itself).
I persevere to wait for you, Lord.