Love is patience. . .

Love is patience. . .

This keeps repeating in my head as I lay down on my bed under the pillow suffering with anxiety.  I prayed.  I talked.  I prayed scripture.  It has been more than 6 hours into my anxiety.

Even louder in my head, Lord I do not understand; I want to be healed now; let the lies in my head be gone now; and, let me have peace now!

‘Now’ is all that some of us want nowadays – the instant demand of things to happen at our beckoning.  Little did it ever occur to me that things come in God’s time.   I may not understand why this always is.  I was told God works in mysterious ways.  

My Lord allowing me to suffer has brought grateful memories to my thoughts in the sixth hour. On the sixth hour of sitting with me, my husband asked me if I remembered the time when we had nothing in our one-bedroom apartment.  We slept on the floor.  Gradually we began to afford one dish plate at a time.  Now, after 22 years, we have many plates in our little kitchen.  Just by talking to my husband about this memory made me more than ever grateful that he stayed with me over these years.

My husband unselfishly spent six hours with me praying for me to recover from anxiety.  The Lord allowed me to rest and experience and savor these moments after six long hours of suffering.  I finally learned that God will heal me but I must be patient.  I may not understand why this always is – God works in mysterious ways.

Perhaps I suffered to realize that my husband loves me, stays patient with me.