I am mentally ill and this is part of my journey.
I have trained for so long (because I don’t have enough money) that a vacation is every day of my life with my child and my husband. When I was finally able to afford it, I was still inclined to think that every day of my life is a vacation because I clean when I want; I relax when I want; and, I eat when I want. These are the things I basically did on this vacation. What do you do on vacation? Do you not do what you want?
However, there was a difference this time. It was the company that I had on this vacation. This time I had my two brothers and my father and my mother. Although each of us had his/her own thing that he/she wanted to do, we all took the time to go by each others’ schedules. I wanted to wake up late, so my brother waited for me for breakfast. He did not whine or complain or rush but waited patiently. My other brother was not as patient but waited too and kept useful by making pancakes for everyone while he waited. My mother and father wanted to go for a morning stroll before swimming and did not wake me until they were sure that I had my rest, and had breakfast.
When I finally got out of bed, I was very thankful for each of them. And so, I engaged in conversation at the breakfast table that made us all laugh and chatter – my brothers’ favorite past times.
There was a sense of closeness to each person; each caring for the other, that he/she enjoyed the vacation. There was an immense pleasure enveloping me and I felt sustained, healthy and happy.
My mental illness is healing. And, “when I die”, I would like to die like Joseph (Genesis 50:22-26). That is to remind my family what God has promised me – a journey in my life to help those who are mentally ill.