I am an ordinary person. One of the ninety-nine sheep in the flock of one hundred (as described in the book of Mathew 18:12). I am an ordinary person.
What does that mean to be an ordinary person? If in your mental illness, you have chosen to be an ordinary person, that does not mean you will not have moments of aridity – dryness in your life, loneliness, depression. . .(What is in your life that gives aridity?)
I am sort of co-dependent which might be familiar to some readers who have mental illness, depression, or anxiety. When my company is unhappy, I feel sadness in my whole being. Because I had chosen to be an ordinary person, the effects of co-dependency have reduced. Today, I crossed the threshold of co-dependency and chose to be the light of the group sitting at my table. I felt uncomfortable at first. But I persevered. Then, every word coming out of my mouth began to give light to the conversation. There was laughter and excitement. Soon I was enjoying the interaction with the people around me.
This happens in given moments as an ordinary person.
Then, in another instance, I began to feel a sense that people were laughing at me because I pray all the time. This crept out of nowhere. Then, I got on my email inbox which shared a link https://youtu.be/K_sRRfTNUCU. Reader, you might just be where you are meant to be and need this link – to hear this. Watch it! It is about Optimist/Pessimist and Hope.
So, a life of an ordinary person has these moments – moments of aridity and low self-confidence. But these are not the only moments there are for me because I have found God.
In these paragraphs, I have touched upon perseverance and hope. These are graces that were created by God for us. And, it took time. It took time to move from being the one lost sheep to one of the ninety ordinary sheep who were not lost. Being ordinary restored wholeness and strength to me, a person with mental illness, that is not curable. All this came because one day, I chose to build a relatively happy life and write.
I implore you with mental illness, depression, and anxiety, after choosing to create your own story of life, persevere with hope that you will have a relatively happy and good life. Lastly, the journey is uncomfortable but the rewards are long-lasting – I am no longer the lost sheep; I am an ordinary person.