Reader, I have found my passion in writing back. It is the dark side of my life as a person suffering from mental illness, anxiety, and depression. It is hell.
Last week, I tried to write about ordered love. The dark side to this is that it is just simply that. Love that is ordered. Over the past year, I have been invited to join a money-making scheme all in the pretense of love.
I was promised a car and $53K as a gift, for a small fraction of an input of dollars on my part.
[I feel so much anger now towards myself and everyone.]
I will call the person Bishop. Bishop would text me in the early hours of the morning while my husband waited for me to return to bed. That, in itself, is a red flag that I did not recognize at the time. I was immersed in the conversations with Bishop of my day and what I loved doing most which is to write. One morning he mentioned that he made an investment and asked me invest. I did. He gave me the love I needed and in return I bought into his scam.
Eleven months down the road, I did not get my gifts and was in debt of $10K.
As Bishop and I texted over months, he discovered what was missing in my life between me and my husband. In stupidity, I went to hell for him. . .I was admitted into the hospital 4 times and twice in the emergency room. I have still not recovered.
When I think back now, meeting Bishop led to hell in my life. So, reader, beware that ordered love requires payment and gives rise to hell.