I was told that I spend my time victimizing myself (plus). . .This ringed in my ears and head beginning the moment I heard this.  I was engulfed in sorrow and failure.  On that day, I was not feeling a hundred percent but there were ways I took this criticism.

I was told that I spend my time victimizing myself (plus). . .I had three anxiety attacks this week. . .I was sorry and was being consumed by failure. . .I was told this because I was sharing my suffering. . .but that was shunned. . . “Why would you want to share that?  You just want to make yourself feel important and of much value and receive attention.”  My reaction was to withdraw and just not share with this person anymore and accept that I am victimizing myself for the attention.  However, later I chose to take the words this way.

I was told that I spend my time victimizing myself (plus). . .I asked myself if this is true.  Yes, the other person may say this but I do not believe this applies to me.  Yes, perhaps it applies to others but not me.  Yes, perhaps the other person may believe this of me BUT I am a child of God and His will is love for me.  If I believe that I spend my time victimizing myself and continue to wallow in it, I would have withdrawn and believed that no one wants to be around me.  But because God loves me, I eventually shook off the comment and chose to accept to persevere that He continues to love me even if I victimize myself once and a while.  The suffering is real and the other person may not understand this and made his comment that could have made me feel worse as I go through my less than one hundred percent self.  Despite the other person’s intention of saying the words to me, I chose to believe in God more than the comments. . .that He loves me and will pull me out through my anxiety attacks and depression.  Jesus is my rock.  The God, the Father Almighty is my strength.  The Holy Spirit is my reality and my courage.  What that person said applied to me at the time but I persevere to trust in the Lord that He will not let me stay depressed and that I will be healed.  Yes, I suffered from the comment but TODAY is more incredible than what happened in the comment yesterday.  TODAY, God woke me up.  He gives me another day to make the story of my life, that I will tell Him when one day I see Him face to face.  My story will be one that I trusted in His providence and live a life where God is real.