I am suffering from mental illness right now. Anger courses through my blood because my husband blew up at me. I feel like I swallowed a rock and my diaphragm . . .I am hyperventilating. I ruminate. There is pain coursing right beneath my heart.
. . .This is how I feel every time, anger is projected at me. Once upon a time, I would curse; I would bang my fist several times at a car window; I would pray; I would cry some more; I would pray to St Michael the Archangel, out aloud, in the silence of my room. Then, I would beg the Lord to save me. Again and again, this would happen.
Today, I chose to write to you because this is not my story. My story is one where I chose to FORGIVE the anger displaced on me, because the Lord is merciful. My tears may well up again and I cry, “Lord, have mercy on me for I am a sinner.”
I felt some peace but still I have not FORGIVEn. Then, PEACE is what I chose to focus on, so I forgave. Why not choose the kindness of a stranger giving you your favorite tall cup of slices of orange green tea? Why not choose to pray? Why not choose to help a man who needs a bike to ride home? Why not choose to stop eating that slice of pizza?
Now, when anger is displaced on me, I choose to FORGIVE. That is my story of the coming year – the year of FORGIVEness and maybe, grace.
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