Jesus wrote to me this morning in my heart during my sleep and my Holy Hour. There, with the words in my heart, they said “peace be with you”.
I looked up these words in the bible. Thirty-four results were quoted in the bible from the Old Testament, the book of Leviticus to the New Testament, Peter. Each scripture contains these or some form of these words.
So, what does this have to do with carrying my cross. First of all, let me define the cross.
Jesus, the Son of the Living God, carried the Cross – a heavy cross – on the road of Calvary. This cross carried the weight of the whole humankind. Each of us, I learned (again) this morning, has to carry our own cross(es). The cross(es) is symbolic of the weight of our burdens in our lives. My burden is my mental illness and anxiety. In the last 8 weeks, I have suffered a minimum of one and a half hours weekly. The suffering would almost overcome me with lies from the enemy in my thoughts. Every thought was the opposite of when I was well.
No use praying –
You are alone –
You are a shame –
I will give you the truth if you worship me –
You are useless –
Despite the Cross being heavy, Jesus continued to carry it. I learned that the faith asks that I bear my cross alongside Jesus. That, I should ask Him to be with me and help me bear my cross as He did.
Here, I have defined the cross. Peace Be With You, he wrote upon my heart. What is Peace? To me, it is a lightening of the mind and heart off worries, desolation, and fears. The Lord, in my suffering, wants me to seek and pray for His grace of peace.
Me, yesterday. Yesterday, the time I fall into my sickness, I feared not the enemy. That is not to say that my thoughts were completely free from the enemy, but I was able to not be overcome by a panic attack. This freedom (for now) came from years of practice in the Faith – feeding my mind with Holy Scripture, examples of the lives of the saints, good and close relationships with family and friends, prayer, the sacrament of reconciliation, the sacrament of marriage, etc. These indeed help me to this moment.
Reader, you have the free will to choose what you want to do in your life. I pray that you choose to believe in Jesus without wavering. Yes, you are bound to fall, but get up and persevere to receive God’s love in your life moving forward. May the peace of our Lord be with you.
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