So, since the Thursday, December 8, xxxx, I have been tasked to become the Blessed Mother. Not a Virgin I am but my mama and Our Father (in a way) chose me.
I looked up into the night sky and there the star was ther (in a way).
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I was out of options for our wedding – December 8; December 16; December 17 and the feast day of Saint John of the Cross. So, I told my priest,”You choose, I am out of options.” I was trying to get wedded so that I would bring baby Jesus into the world.
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I was re-wedded/wedded on Saturday, December 17, 2022.
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My priest, at the wedding, with his homily professed
Reading 1
Hark! my lover–here he comes
springing across the mountains,
leaping across the hills.
My lover is like a gazelle
or a young stag.
Here he stands behind our wall,
gazing through the windows,
peering through the lattices.
My lover speaks; he says to me,
“Arise, my beloved, my dove, my beautiful one,
and come!
“For see, the winter is past,
the rains are over and gone.
The flowers appear on the earth,
the time of pruning the vines has come,
and the song of the dove is heard in our land.
The fig tree puts forth its figs,
and the vines, in bloom, give forth fragrance.
Arise, my beloved, my beautiful one,
and come!
“O my dove in the clefts of the rock,
in the secret recesses of the cliff,
Let me see you,
let me hear your voice,
For your voice is sweet,
and you are lovely.”
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Felix was the stag and I was the one wooing him.
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I woo-ed him during the day, and when it was night, I approached him. Day after day, I longed for him and he pushed me away. (There is more to the details of the story here, for the adults.)
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This morning at the hour of around 6 o’clock, he pushed me away ever so kindly and said, “It is Christmas Day. . .and I don’t want to be angry.” I smiled a small smile, then. . .I thought.
~ perhaps baby Jesus is not going to come afterall.
~ but I noticed ~ my now husband, under the eyes of God, has gone to Confession 2 times to my priest (since he had never been since we were married in Dec 17, xxxx); under the eyes of God, has taken Communion 3 times (since he had been told that he cannot take communion). For many years this will come true. ~ maybe baby Jesus is not going to come afterall.
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My priest had told me once, “A promise is a promise!” ~ I promised the Lord much like the Blessed Virgin, except I was not a Virgin, that I would bear His Sooon Son. I promised.
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So, under my will, I said, “God, this is not going to happen but Your Will Is Imprimateur.” Thy will is always done (as best as I can) “en mi corazón, amor”. ~ in my heart, (my) love.
This helps.